Nakow! I lost my marbles!

Mad Monday again. Took the MRT for fear of being late taking the FX. Stood in the middle part of the first car right where the floor is slanted. Blamed myself the whole ride for picking heels over flats.

I have two stalled blogs I was supposed to post last week but wasn’t able to finish. Was swamped with work so much that I didn’t even have time to sneak out to the hour-long therapy for my wrist.

And it didn’t help that I took on a side job for which I expect to earn extra (don’t get me wrong, I’m grateful for this side writing job! Big thanks go out to Karla!) I tried to finish it off, to no avail, over the weekend. So, well, yeah, it’s been tiring since for-evah and my head’s about to plop on my keyboard right now!

David Sedaris kept me kind of sane, though, as I leafed through his book of personal anecdotes, “Me Talk Pretty One Day” every chance I get. The guy is seriously funny and brilliant (and gay) and I think he kind of rubbed off on me.

Sedaris’ humor, however, wasn’t able to discount the fact that I still had, how do I say this, incurable issues with my mom when it came to money. Going into details might shame her, for it also involved her supposed boyfriend, so I won’t.

In desperation I got down on my knees last night—seriously, I did, like little girls do by their beds in phony movies—and prayed for maybe a hundred times that He touches my mother’s heart. And that He provides us enough dough to, number one, tend for our needs without the funny heart-wrenching feeling similar to that of a little boy losing all his marbles, and to, number two, move out. Sorry ma, but I really think we have to.

* * *

Just some time ago my workmates have been discussing their Camarines Sur trip plans—which sounds like a whole lot of fun, believe me. There’s a fiesta that they’re supposedly crashing for food freeloading, and they’ll be touring and watching dolphin shows and staying at our dear Jas’ place there for two days. They're almost winning at twisting my arm to go with them, but I just can’t let them! The P1,500 fare-per-head alone is too much for my wallet to lose, plus I wouldn’t go without taking Raffy. And taking Raffy would, yeah, double the fare and blah, blah, blah. Jeez. Sometimes when I talk I feel like we’re dirt-poor!

But in the greater scheme of things, I still ought to feel lucky. It’s not as bad as it seems, really. Jaira’s laugh is golden, and it just makes me and Raffy forget that we actually have bills to pay. And she laughs so much more often now than she used to! It is such a treat to just watch her laugh, youbetchorpwet.

And as Mica often quotes those The Secret authors, telling me to exude positive energy to attract the same (verbatim: isipin mo na ang mga bibilin mo pag may pera ka na!), I realize that, what the hey, there’s still reason to be happy. And to try keeping my head from plopping keyboard-ward now, though I feel like, over the weekend, I’ve lost a hundred thousand marbles… whoops! Sorry—positive thoughts, positive thoughts… sweldo day tomorrow… positive thoughts, positive thoughts.